28/02/23 - The big ones

I don't want it to end. I have textbooks strewn across my desk and half my keyboard, it's now the 1st of March (so I guess that renders the date beside the title useless) (that's hilarious to read as it's now DECEMBER as I'm finally posting this) and I'm 3 months away from my exams. The 'big ones' I suppose you could label them. The further we progress throughout this second year, the more I realise I've completely wasted my first. Having to simultaneously try to make up for the lack of memories from my first year while trying to prepare for these exams is proving to be more and more a challenge. I got back from mini golfing a few hours ago, instead of revising from 12-5pm like I typically do and all I feel is guilt. Rehearsals amp up starting Thursday too, every day for 9 days in a row. With the opening night in exactly a week, I look forward to properly getting into the mindless flow of it all, but the ache at the loss of time isn't fading either. I should probably get some sleep, I can be awfully emotionally when deprived of it.

Well I definitely got some sleep, it's now the 5th of March. To clarify, I didn't sleep for 120 hours in a row. I just got back from an 11am-8pm rehearsal in school and after watching the same dance routine for the past few days, I think I can say this is coming together, but rather slowly. My hands are cracked and bloody from the stress. I went to see a dance show after rehearsals on Saturday as well. Seeing my own school's dance show inspired me to go see this one, and it was just as enjoyable. They even had aerial silks and trapeze acts which was certainly unique. I need to get to work on an updated prop list for the stage crew as our opening show is on Wednesday which is almost 2 days away.

I'm thinking of adding a separate area for short, diary-like entries, as writing out whole blogs has turned into a tedious task I can no longer relax whilst doing.